She was a woman after God’s own heart. She was an intercessor, and faithful at it. You could always find her at the altar, praying. She loved the Lord and it was evident. She was on leave and the first thing she decided to do with her leave days, is to go and seek the face of the Lord at Ng’ong hills. She was praying and fasting and when she descended the hills, she passed out. She was in some pain for a while but was declared dead on arrival to hospital. We loved her and we will miss her. Her spirit and smile. We are glad, however, to know her last interaction was with her heavenly Father.
A paraphrased eulogy of a childhood acquaintance. I loved it. And it got me questioning, “What would people write in my eulogy? What would they have to say?” We are told, when we are writing goals, we need to start with the end in mind and work backwards. Maybe that’s what I need to do. Write down how I would like to be remembered and then live my life to achieve that.
It sounds all easy in theory, but have you actually ever thought about the end of your life? What are the things you would like to be highlighted about you? I, for one know, my smile and laughter will be things everyone who has interacted with me will be able to remember. But in as far as my character is concerned, what will be said?
A woman after God’s heart is a trait I would be very happy to have mentioned therein, but is my life today showing that? Am I leading the kind of life that will inspire these words? I am quite inconsistent, when it comes to things. Lol. I get bored really fast and I know, patience is the magic word in you seeing the fruits of your labour. I just need to cultivate it. I need to learn how to wait and not be fidgety all the time. Patience. I would like it to be said that I was patient. That I am a perfectionist is not something I am proud of, yet I see it as one of the things that sticks out in my day to day life. Things need to be perfect, or else, I am not getting involved. It keeps me from enjoying certain aspects of life. I try to keep it in check. At times I succeed, most times I fail and it drowns me into its rabbit hole.
I would like to be remembered as a good friend. That’s important. I know I am not perfect but, I know, sounds like a contradiction, but I do know it, though I still pursue it. Struggles of my life. But am I really? I think I know a few people who could agree with this but I am also very selfish. I get selfish when I feel someone is taking me for a ride. I turn on them. And it becomes all about me. But I hope in general, the people I interact with, will always have a positive experience.
I continue to discover myself and things about me. The journey of self awareness is not an easy one but one I am choosing to take anyways. I know the only way for it to actually change me is if I am completely honest with myself. Not all the truths that are showing up are pretty and at times I wish I did not open this pandora box but I also know that when I am done, I will be proud of the person who will stand at the other end of the finishing line.
Writing consistently is one of those things I would like to start on. Say, every morning?
Also, I will be travelling to lay my grandma to rest next weekend. She also loved the Lord and her Pastor prayed over her when she got admitted and she passed on the very next day. She was 80.
Have a good Friday!